Madison : Purveyor of Snarky Doggie Witticism

I am the proud owner of a three year old Jack Russell terrier and of the two of us, I think she needs therapy more than I do. Madison lives the Suite Life like Zak and Cody on the Disney Channel. She sleeps all day, eats a little of everything that I do and does not have to compete with anyone for my affection. She spends the majority of her time creating blanket caves underneath the sheets and comforter on my little twin bed (::before you judge, I live in a studio apartment. A twin is about all I could fit in here::). And when she does venture out, her actions are quite comical. For instance......

The HotYoga For Dogs:

So the phenomenon that is sweeping the nation, HotYoga, rears its faddish head at least three times a day in my apartment. Madison sticks her head out from under the covers and looks around. If I am anywhere other than where she can see me she jumps out of the bed as if she plans on sending out a search party to locate me. Again, it's a studio apartment, I haven't gone very far. But before she can do anything, she must do her stretches. Ever wonder where they get the yoga term "doggie down"? It came from Madison. I often wonder what she thinks about. with the start of each new day...

Madison ::thinking to herself:: ::Yawn:: God, another day in this hell hole. What happened to that place we lived in before with the rooms, plural, and the warm weather and the backyard and the bathroom with the door. I am so sick of looking at your ass every time you get out of the shower.

Me: Good morning, sunshine. How are you? You want some morning squeezies?

Madison ::stands up in bed::Well, the crazy lady is talking to me again. I guess I should pretend to listen:: ::cocks head to one side while furrowing brow::

Me: Aww, Roo. Aren't you adorable. You are the cutest little doggie ever.

Madison ::knowing look on her face:: Sucker, you fall for that look every time. Well, let's get this over with, I gotta pee.::jumping out of bed:: Uhhh, I wish she would get a bigger bed. I'm sick of sleeping in the crook of her legs. I mean there isn't much to work with, she is only five feet tall. ::stretching front legs:: Ouch, my sciatica. ::stretching back legs, first the left, then the right:: oye. I need a good massage.

::Ignoring me while looking at her tail:: Good morning tail. God, that's a nice piece of ass. What's a girl gotta do to get a piece of that? ::starts to chase tail:: Don't be a tease. Get over here. ::changes direction. continues to chase tail:: Come on honey, I promise not to bite. Hard. ::stops. sits down. begins to lick herself where dogs are known to lick themselves.:: Much better. Why in the world was I working so hard?

Me:: Madison, stop that. That is a nasty habit. You aren't kissing me with that mouth.

Madison:: Jealous?::

Me:: Shut up.